its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
