The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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