You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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