when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize