i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
