the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
