Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
