Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize