i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
