She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
