I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize