How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
