u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I need water and some morals
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
