he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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