And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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