Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
