Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Randomize
