yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
