Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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