Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
