Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
