ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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