I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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