Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
