I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
