Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Your penis caused this!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
