god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize