too bad you live with your parents still
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
