it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
