he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize