do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
