I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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