how can u be prego again
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
