are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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