According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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