I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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