if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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