ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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