I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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