remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize