can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
