I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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