I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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