Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
