I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
