So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
