dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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