His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
