I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
