Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
