last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
