I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
