I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize