Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
