Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
