Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
