Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize