the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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