Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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