well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
