Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
