I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
