a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
