Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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