if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The power of my boobs compel you
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
