He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
