I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
