he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
