Dual....:-)
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
