Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize