If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
