is your mom at the bar?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
