I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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