so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm bleeding and have questions
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
