help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
