five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
