used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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