Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
