what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
